A Personal Journal by Andrea Brogle » Blog

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Where are peoples’ filters?


I sort of feel the need to vent.  For those of you who don’t know I have five kids eight and under.  I never thought I would have a big family but I do and I absolutely love it.  The craziness is pretty awesome!  I am so thankful that I have a big family and cannot imagine it any other way.  What I am tired of is the sad looks and the many comments I have received over the past year. I want to mention that of all my children are well behaved (people have commented to me numerous times while in public about their behavior).  They use their manners, are polite and (usually, everyone has a bad day) treat each other with respect.  So when I am walking though the store with my children in tow please do not stare at me in disbelief and then come over and ask if “they are all mine.”  First of all I don’t think it is any of your business.  Second, stop staring and find your filter.  When an employee comes up to me asking with these sad pitiful eyes like she just saw my puppy get hit by a car if she can push the cart around the store for me the answer is no.  I’m sure many of you think that she is trying to be helpful and maybe that is it.  But when it looks like her heart is aching for me due to my “situation” please let me be.  Why would I want a stranger walking with me through Target?  Please leave me alone – if I need help I will be sure to ask.

People seem to have lost their filter when in public.  When I was pregnant with the twins I once had someone come up to me (had the three older ones with me) and ask what I was having.  I told her I did not know.  In the short conversation it came out that it was twins.  She tried covering the shock on her face with her hands and then said to me “better you than me.”  Seriously!?  Why say that?  Another one said “I’m going to be praying for you.”  Now that’s great!  Who couldn’t use some prayers right?  Not when it is followed by “because that’s the only way you are going to get through this.”  I don’t think so.  I’m a pretty strong woman.  I think I can handle myself just fine without your prayers if that is what you think.  The best one was when a woman came up to me and flat out told me she “feels sorry for me.”  Um, why!?  I love my family – why would anyone want to say that to someone, especially when the children are there and can hear you?

I’m tired of being looked at like I need to be rescued, like I can’t handle my kids, like my world has ended.  It hasn’t, by kids are great and I am fine.  We have no family nearby ever since we have had kids so I am use to doing everything by myself during the day while hubby is at work.  Are there days that I do get tired?  Yes.  Are there days I wish I could have 5 minutes of quiet?  Yes.  Are there times I want to do what I want?  Yes.  Would I ever want to change any piece of my life for something else?  No.  My family is mine – I am proud of it people!  Take your sad looks and turn the other way.

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